We are those people. The ones called ‘do-gooders’ in tones of derision who will never understand why our detractors think we should be insulted by this.
The ones who are nurturing hope like little seeds in landscapes we were told nothing could grow.
It’s not uncommon for us to suddenly disable social media accounts and spend time alone to build up our defences back up again after exposing ourselves for too long against cruelty with not enough back up.
We are intense in our desires and our anger. We can be physically or mentally estranged from our families who don’t understand why we will put ourselves in the line of fire even when we know we are outnumbered. Who use every bit of energy we have knowing we will lose, but do it anyway because we know that if we win one heart along the way it was all worth it.
We dream in different colours than most, which we try to paint into our waking landscapes wherever we can. We don’t hate the world or people, though we may say that we do a lot. On the contrary we love them far too much and we absorb their suffering like hot stones.
Because when we love, the air around will crackle and sing, but when we break we shatter like ice under boiling water. I used to call it sensitivity, but this suggests a fragility of some sort and we are anything but fragile. Our inability to turn our heads from horror and take the force of the blow to protect the rest of the world is proof of our strength.
What we are is fireflies, there to illuminate and enchant the dark woods when we are allowed to be free, but attracting the attention of those who are envious of our light and want it for themselves. Who then lock us into jars so that they can own and exploit it and are too stupid and selfish to understand why we then extinguish. Too ignorant to understand that what we have can’t be sold or sanitised because it as wild and as ancient as dust.
So remember, fireflies, that you need to play sometimes. Remember that you need to stay still and sleep sometimes too and that taking as good care of yourself as you do the rest of the world is an act of resistance in itself.
Remember that every jar can be smashed and there are others who would gladly help you do the smashing. That it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Remember you already made a difference today by all the other amazing things you did yesterday and the day before that. That your kindness is contagious and that someone’s life became better because of that thing you did or said to them years ago, that thing you probably don’t even recall.
Remember you are still loved and needed, that you are seen by eyes you are too humble to notice.
Remember you are connected to everything on this planet by your love, rage and empathy and because of this, though you may sometimes be solitary, you can never be truly alone.
Idealists foolish enough to throw caution to the winds have advanced Mankind and enriched the world- Emma Goldman
Beautiful freak- Eels